For months now, my friend Bryan and I have been talking about throwing down the culinary gauntlet by going head to head in a crab leg eating contest. It started out innocently enough earlier this Summer when over the course of a few rounds of beer, we began to discuss our mutal love of crab legs, and how nothing on earth pleased us more than being able to eat those wonderful succulent legs.
As casual conversations tend to with our group of friends, we soon ended up about not just talking about eating the crab legs, but who could eat more of them in a head to head deathmatch style competition at the Los Palmas Wednesday night “All you can eat crab legs” special. However, I didn’t want to ‘just win’ against Bryan, no no no..I wanted to prove to the entire world that I alone was the Ultimate Grand Master crab leg eating champion of the world, so I upped the ante and said that I could not only eat more buckets of crab legs than he, but that when he’d had enough crab leg, I would eat one more bucket just to make it clear to all challengers that I would not only clearly beat them, I would beat them and then enjoy another bucket of crab while they watched in disbelief saying to themselves: “He must posses superhuman powers to eat that much crab leg. Clearly I was a fool to think I could challenge him.”
Bryan thinks that because he lived near the home of much crab leg (Alaska) once upon his lifetime, he is going to be the victor. In an alternate universe where he wasn’t facing me, that might be true, but for our competition it will have no bearing on the course of events.
I on the other hand, know that I posses the physical and mental abilities to defeat him soundly, and then enjoy another bucket of crab after he’s done.
The loser (Bryan in this case) not only have to pick up the winners (Me) tab that night, but will also have to sing a song in the falseto style written by our friend Chuck for the entire table to enjoy.
So mark your calendars for the 13th of October at Las Palmas, place your bets, and if you’re in Milwaukee, come join us to hear Bryan sing.