I have never been one to generalize, and I will certainly not begin now.
Women are complex creatures, and not all women are the same. They have different wants, needs, and desires, and unfortunately for us men, most of us cannot seem to figure them out. So we just give up. We say, “I don’t understand her,” and move on with our sad, single lives.
That is simply unacceptable. From my experiences with women (good, bad, and ugly) I have compiled a guideline for you, my hopeless friend, to understand what it is exactly that attracts a woman to a man.
So – women. Shall we give them the benefit of the doubt here, and say their primary attraction to a man is centered on traits of his personality? After all, women are generally considered the less shallow of human species. Their chemical makeup is different from us men, making them completely different when it comes to emotions. I think this is something that is hard for men to understand, resulting in men with bad personalities who are confused when they a.) Cannot get a girl and/or b.) Get dumped with no rhyme or reason.
Let’s dive into the top five personality traits (in my experience) women look for in a man. First of all, he must be positive. Women don’t need any more negative thoughts flooding their subconscious and filling them with doubt. A man who is positive about life and relationships is a man that will attract and sustain a woman’s commitment for all the right reasons. Worried about boring her? Make sure the positivity is matched with intense energy. This signals to a woman that you are a passionate lover and ready for a good time.
Women need honesty. In the age of the iPhone, its all too easy for men to cheat and lie. But females are like hawks – stealthily stalking you until BOOM. They catch you doing something you shouldn’t be. Texting another girl. Making plans with friends when you said you had a “work thing.” Dishonesty signals insecurity, and quite honestly, most females have enough of that. They are attracted to a man who displays confidence, a man that is able to take the reigns and commit to a relationship. Now, some of you guys are just not into commitment. Maybe you’re looking for a one-night-stand or low-key fling. Possibly even a rebound. In that case, let her know. The last thing you want is to attract a girl who is looking to settle down and have her fall hopelessly in love with you, only to break up with her a week later and deal with the crazy stalker phone calls that are sure to follow.
The third personality trait women look for in men is compassion. Now, there are many different ways to define compassion. In this scenario, we are talking about being kind, caring, and genuine. It’s really not that hard. As I said previously, women are emotional creatures who just want to be understood and cared for. The initial attraction is always the easiest in this sense – look her in the eye, ask her about herself, keep the conversation away from you, and please, remember her name.
Lastly, he must be attentive. Listen to what she is saying. If you’re fortunate enough to meet them, listen to what her friends and/or coworkers are saying. She told you she likes dark chocolate, so go buy her a bar of Lindt and cuddle up to “How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days” on a Monday night. She will be turned on by your attentiveness, how you remembered the fact that she hates Mondays, but loves rom-coms (and Matthew McConaughey.)
Now that we’ve talked about the emotional needs of women, let’s get into the more physical aspects. We are talking attraction, and regardless of your gender, what you look like is always the initial flame that ignites your desire. So, a women sees a man from across the bar. Her eyes light up. Her pulse quickens. She wants to go talk to him. What does he look like?
For most women, it begins with the face. And while most prefer a more manly face, there are those who like the baby face. It really all comes down to personal hygiene. Are you washing your face daily? Do you have clear skin? Do you have two defined eyebrows and none spurting out of your nose? Sounds like a no brainer, but this is what women look at. Any sort of obstruction on the face is a sign that you don’t take care of yourself. And if you can’t take care of yourself, how the hell can you take care of her?
Teeth also play a big role in physical attraction. A smile is like an invitation into your soul, so if you weren’t blessed with perfectly straight, white chiclets, at least make sure you are brushing, flossing, and whitening.
As for body, it is true that many women prefer a man who is tall. If you weren’t blessed with that particular gene, fear not. Let’s focus on the things you can change, namely the physical makeup of your body. It’s no surprise that muscles garner the attention of the female kind. psychology behind a man with muscles is that they can provide security for a woman. A man who is scrawny is not seen as protective – and while some women do prefer skinny men, the majority of them are attracted to a guy with muscle. You don’t need to be some bodybuilder to attract her attention, either. It’s all about your level of confidence and commitment to your health. Attend regular training sessions, eat right, and drink lots of water, and not only will you see that fat melt away, but you will find a horde of women begging for your attention.
Now let’s get into personal style. It all comes down to personal preference. Tight-fitting shirts, loose-fitting shirts, baggy jeans, skinny jeans…we can’t specify those things. However, a man who is completely confident in what he is wearing is always sexy. A man who can match colors and styles, who isn’t afraid to attract attention with what he is wearing – women like that. Because women like confidence. And if you don’t have cologne or some sort of signature scent, get one. It’s just common knowledge, guys.
While the opposite is sometimes true for men, women are not attracted to stupidity. Lack of intelligence signifies lack of education. Lack of education converts to lack of drive and motivation. This is not sexy. If you don’t have a college degree, fear not. Start with some simple habits each day to boost your intelligence – read the news, stay up to date on current events, watch documentaries, read books, listen to podcasts, and the list goes on. There is nothing sexier to a woman than a man who can keep a conversation with her about the things she is interested in. That being said, do not go overboard as you will come off as a complete prick or know-it-all. Have some subtlety, but know your shit.
Women can be very complex creatures, but unfortunately we don’t give them enough credit when it comes to attraction. In that way, they are very simple. They want to feel secure and needed. They want someone with drive, motivation, and compassion. And, like all humans, they want a man who excites them physically.
Once you start to implement all of these things (and trust me, it’s not that hard) you will start to see women falling all over you – at the grocery store, the office, and the bar.