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I am Ryan, a 35 year old man, and a lawyer working with several high profile cases. Life and career have always been good to me. I have passed the bar with flying colors, won a bunch of cases, bought my own place at twenty eight and was even offered partnership at one of the most prestigious law firms. But the only aspect where life has been unfair to me is when it comes to dating.
I was a very shy kid in school and unlike other boys, I had a hard time approaching girls, leave alone asking them out. Even for my own prom, my mother asked our neighbor’s daughter to be my date so that I do not miss it. Even though I did ask out a few girls during high school and law school, I did not have much success. Even when I was not rejected, the relationship did not really go anywhere. Somehow nothing seemed to really click. By the time I was thirty I had kind of accepted that I am going to die alone. But what turned my life around was my best friend’s marriage. I was thirty two when David tied the knot with wife, in a beautiful ceremony. Their love for each other was reflected in their eyes, every time they stole a glance at each other or shared a private conversation or joke. I knew that I wanted this too. This is when I decided that I cannot accept my fate of being single forever and decided to take things in my hand.
My brush with the Tao of Badass book
A colleague at work suggested me the book The Tao of Badass by Joshua Pellicer. I was initially apprehensive so I went on the Internet and did a little research. Not only did I find that this programme had thousands of online users, I found largely positive reviews from men claiming how this book helped them with women. I placed my order immediately but little did I know that my whole life was going to be changed in a moment. The Tao of Badass claims to be rejection proof system which promises that anyone, irrespective of looks, age, social skills etc can actually find a girl. It is a step by step programme when men are taught how to get over their anxiety, fear or shyness when it comes to approaching women, how to talk to them effectively, how to be more interesting so as to hold a woman’s attention in a conversation and finally, how to make any woman like a man back.
How the Tao of Badass book works
When I got access to this programme, I was not sure if it would work on me but I did start reading it. My mind kept telling me that I am smart man and a book cannot change anything but surprisingly, it did! It actually told me where and how I kept messing up and what I should do to actually to change this situation. Surprisingly, it stated working and I started feeling more confident with women. In order to understand how the book helps you gain more confidence and get better with women, it is important to understand its modules, namely Become an Attractive Man, The Step By Step System for Picking up Girls and Reading Body Language and Knowing When a Girl Likes You.
Part 1: Become an attractive man
In this module, The Tao of Badass introduces the term ‘badass’ and tries to give a clear picture of what makes a man the ideal ladies man. It teaches you what women are attracted to in a man so that you can try to model yourself on becoming the guy who is wanted by women. It gives you the scientific explanations behind the interesting differences behind male and female gender roles and mentality and tells you how vital it is to embrace your manhood if you want women to like you. It highlights the importance of fulfilling your male gender role. If a man doesn’t, there is a chance of women rejecting him as the ‘nice guy’ which is a nicer way of telling a man that he is friend-zoned. If you are a man who has been stuck in the dreaded friend-zoned, this is get to know what you messed up and where you went wrong as well as how to redeem yourself from this zone. I could now clearly see how I was the one messing up my own chances of dating a girl. It was indeed my own lack of confidence, which was responsible for my string of failed relationships in the past.
Part 2: The step-by-step system for picking up girls
Any man who has struck out with women will agree that approaching a woman is the first and in fact, the scariest step in the process of picking up a girl. Therefore, this is a very useful chapter as it breaks it down into easy steps and points what makes the process of approaching a girl easier. In fact, this whole chapter is dedicated simply to help you perfect your approach skills. This book focuses largely on what the author calls approach anxiety which is a crippling fear most men experience which prevents them from being able to approach the girl of their dreams. He reveals some amazing techniques which are designed to rewire your deep rooted psychological fears so that you can get rid yourself of this annoying approach anxiety once and for all. This book helped me finally muster the courage to ask this beautiful girl out. We have been working for the last two years and finally after reading this I decided to ask her to dinner with me. We went to a lovely Italian place and had the most beautiful first date ever.
In this module you will learn how to make use of the correct body language in order to approach a girl, and not get rejected. Once you develop a confident attitude and learn the art of approaching efficiently. This module discusses the ‘map of interaction’ which is The Tao of Badass’s step-by-step system designed to aid picking up girls. The map of interaction is made of 4 phases, namely Attraction, Rapport, Seduction and Relationship Balance.
It tells you that ultimate success will come to those who are able to “see the matrix” which as the author puts it, is understanding and working on the phase of the map of interaction you are in while you are in it. If you know which phase you are in, you will know how to successfully navigate to the next and right into a woman’s heart. This is how the book describes and works on the different phases the author has described.
In order to build attraction, the author explains how can make use of interesting utilize banter to make a conversation with a girl fun, playful, exciting and intelligent, and in the process, draw the girl towards you. The author throws in tons of examples of such playful banter which you can engage in your next conversation with a girl. You will be taught, in details, how with the smart use of some open ended questions you can very quickly turn a boring conversation into a deep and meaningful emotional roller coaster. This will help you invoke an irrepressible desire in the girl for your companionship and love.
Building a rapport, or an invisible connections which draws a person to you, is an important step towards getting the girl of your dreams. Here you will learn the technique of establishing a rapport with a girl using common interests which will, in the course of time, create an emotional bond and help you take this to the next level. As I started implementing these techniques, my confidence skyrocketed and my dating life improved drastically, in no time at all. No longer was I the shy kid who did not know how to look a woman in the eye and hold a conversation.
This section also deals with a huge mistake men often make, which actually ends up distancing the girl, that is, bragging. Never try to use bragging to sell yourself as she will see right through you and be turned off. Moreover, it can be incredibly annoying for anyone sit through someone bragging about their achievements. It does not act to your favor, and therefore, it is important to avoid bragging about yourself. Instead be humble and respectful and let her find out your qualities. Loads of useful examples are packed into the content in order to give you the leverage that you need for establishing the necessary rapport.
As the rapport deepens, it is important to take the relationship to the next level. The girl expects you to take this step and give her the most magical and the perfect first kiss ever. But it is a tricky scenario because a wrong move in the seduction technique can unmake the whole thing you worked for. So you have to be very careful and this is where the book is of immense use. I gives you an insight into the logical brain vs the emotional brain and how women have what the author terms a ‘red zone’, entering which can ruin your game in seconds.
The Tao of Badass is not a book which is aimed at picking up a girl only. Instead it offers solid relationship advice. Thus, it helps you in not only getting a girl to date, but also aids you in taking it to the next level by establishing a healthy and successful relationship with her. Thus, you will be able to have a fulfilling romantic relationship without the pangs of heartbreak. Personally, these tips have been incredibly useful, especially during the early uncertain days of the relationship.
Part 3: Reading body language and knowing when a girl likes you
This is an important lesson which ever man needs to learn. Men often misunderstand a woman’s body language and ruin their chances with her. This section helps you understand the difference between positive and negative body language and therefore, how to effectively use the right body language to the approach a woman. It also helps you assess the woman’s body language to ensure that she is into you.
Thanks to this book, two years ago I got the courage to ask the most amazing girl out. Our lovely date soon turned into something more special and she is indeed everything I could ask for. On our second anniversary, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. None of it would have been possible without The Tao of Badass